Over time, I have come to identify that there are some core beliefs I have about therapy. These viewpoints have a great influence on how I approach working with people, and I wanted to share these with you.
it is all about you
I know I’ve said this here, but what this really means is that for every person I work with, my focus is always on what your unique strengths and vulnerabilities are – and I adapt to meet where you are, at this time.
So, even if I see three different couples who are struggling with the same issues – there will be three different and unique experiences for them.
It’s all about Relationships
I am unashamedly pro-relationship. However, let me clarify – I am focused on helping you to have healthy relationships. Relationships that span the whole gamut from being successfully single, a caring partner, or a co-operative parent after separation.
A healthy relationship is one where you feel respected and safe – whether you are single, coupled or separated.
change is a process
People come to therapy when things aren’t going the way they planned – when you’ve realised that what you knew before, isn’t working anymore. Therapy is about learning new skills in thinking and doing, and this will take time, and practice. Be gentle with yourself and allow for the inevitable ups and downs of learning how to do things differently. After all, did you learn to walk, read or ride a bike on the first go?
YOu can’t fail at therapy
Since change is a process, there is no way that you can fail. You really can’t get it wrong. It’s helpful to think about therapy as an ongoing experiment in life – learning something new and noticing and reflecting how that goes. When you think you’ve failed – maybe you’ve just identified an opportunity to keep trying or explore what might be getting in the way of the change you want.
i’m not here to judge
At the core of therapy is a deep trust. It’s understandable that you may be embarrassed that you haven’t been doing something you need to do, or that you are doing something that you aren’t proud of. At the core of therapy is knowing that I won’t be critical or judgemental.
you can to do better
It may seems a little odd to suggest you can do better. After all, why would you come to therapy if you didn’t think that? However, you may be feeling that you can’t do better, even though you want to. You might feel hopeless about your situation and really struggle to see that difference is possible.
A core feature of change is personal responsibility – taking the risk to look closely at your own role in your relationships and learn new ways of behaving. By taking the risk to be vulnerable and look at yourself, the opportunity for great change appears.
therapy is an investment in your future
You may unsure about spending your time, emotional energy and finances on therapy. You may be wondering if it’s really worth it.
Rather than thinking about therapy only in terms of costs, I invite you to think about it as an investment. An investment where devoting your time, effort, energy and finances, will pay a dividend – the healthy realtionship you deserve – for now and in the future.